Be- 28 1/2 weeks pregnant

Hi my friends! I'm so sorry I am behind on the pregnant posting this last week! Whew it's busy around here....I always feel like I'm saying that, am I always saying that? ;)

This pic is from last week when I was 28 weeks and started the 3rd trimester! Whoohoooo almost home free! A few things that have been happening:

-Met one of the midwives that will be attending our homebirth here in Guelph. She's awesome and I love her.
- Having major hormone surges (mood swings) with anxiety and crying. That sucks.
-Fatigue and nausea  are baaaaaack! URGH!
-Started birth classes that incorporate meditation which has been fantastic so far. We did a visualization where we had to take the place of our baby and during it the baby told me she is fine and big and healthy and I should stop worrying. That is wasn't fair I was thinking she would die like the previous baby. That she thought I didn't believe in her. So yeah that was pretty powerful in shaking myself out of all these negative thoughts.

So that's about it! We're moving into our new apartment/house this Sunday so I might not have the 30 week preggo pic for you until the following week when we get the internet up and running.

But enough about me, how has your summer been? Any awesome cocktails? Festivals? Events? Shopping? Come on girls give me the details!

Love and Hugs

Be- 24 weeks pregnant

We're doing it guys! We made it to 24 weeks already! Did you know this means that the baby is viable? She can now survive outside the womb if delivered prematurely. Of course I seriously hope she stays in there and makes it to full term but after having a miscarriage in the past this comes as really comforting news.

I think I told you that I didn't feel the baby move for a long long time. Then she started moving big time.....and then she stopped, along with my heart. (I was so freaked out!) Thank goodness she started again a few days ago. I think maybe she just swam into the back where I couldn't feel her anymore?

I find my belly shape really changes, some days I feel huge and then somedays I feel scared I am too small. I think it has to do with her movements in there and I am trying to relax about it! Good luck with that!

She is also developing her taste buds this week so I am eating all kids of blue cheese, weird veggies, grains, a few ounces of rosé wine and even some green algae for good measure. Although it seems the only things she likes or jumps for are sweets. On the weekend we had a picnic in Niagara and the baby kicked for the delicious strawberry rhubabrd pie! What are you gonna do? The girl likes what the girls likes. ;)

Bring on the pie!

Love and Hugs

Be- 20 weeks pregnant

Hi my dearest friends! Well it's still happening. I'm still pregnant and can't believe every second of it.
I honestly can't believe this is happening to ME! Will I really be a Mom? Will I really have a baby? Could I be so lucky?
I know so many women and Moms who have and are going through hardships with concieving and motherhood. This is no picnic people and if I can get to 40 weeks with a healthy baby well I'll tell you there will be some friggin party in Guelph that's for damn sure and you're all invited!

I always secretly thought that was so annoying when you would ask an expectant mother if she was having a boy or a girl and she said, "We're just hoping for a healthy baby!" Urgh!

But now I get it. I too just want an alive healthy child. Who cares either way right?

Love and Hugs

That's right people, I am back in the game!

I just love the colours and textures of the sweet peas in this bouquet! It's so dreamy and ethereal!
What do you think if I wear a feathery-vintagey-diamondy thing like this in my hair under my veil for the ceremony and then take it off for dinner? I kinda LOVE it!


So I am back in planning mode as you can see. It's only taken me 2 long months. And I will still need to keep working on getting used to our baby not being at the wedding with us and feeling that loss. But for right now it's all hearts and butterflies and cotton candy! I am excited and trying desperately to plan everything under budget. It's scary but exciting! Who's with me?!

Love and Hugs

P.S. thanks so much to Oncewed.com for the above amazing images and daily inspiration.

Thank You!

Goodmorning Guys, I am feeling better and it's all thanks to YOU! I have been overwhellmed with the amount of emails and calls and well wishes from everyone. I think there is no other way to heal then to be surrounded by those that love you....and I am no different. I feel so lucky to have you. I know you have my back.
I am still mad and sad and have ups and downs but on a whole, things are looking brighter.
Like Shelly said in her card, "The Sun Will Shine Again!"

I love you so much my friends and family, without you I would be lost.

Love and Hugs

Over

Hi Everybody, I guess everyone knows by now that Vince and I were pregnant. It was a big surprise to us and however unplanned it was it was equally as joyful. We were getting really used to the term Mommy and Daddy and Baby when we found out at an ultrasound last week that the fetus had stopped living. Yesterday at 12 weeks and 1 day I had a D&C operation to remove the dead fetus from my uterus.
So it's over. No more baby, no more Mommy or Daddy. I feel really angry and sad and disappointed and angry and lost. I'm mad cause I wanted to announce our pregnancy here with such happiness. I'm mad my parents won't be grandparents anymore and my brother and Britt won't be aunts and uncles anymore. But most of all I'm sad that the baby I bonded with and was inside me for 2 months is now gone. He was mine and I didn't want him or her to leave. I feel empty and sad and crappy.

But everythings going to be okay cause I have you guys. Thank you so much for all your emails. It's overwhelming and makes me feel so loved. Vince and I can't do this alone and I need all the support I can get right now. So thanks guys! I love you soooooooo much! Hopefully this blog will get back on track soon. Just need time to get used to it being over.

Love and Hugs

image: http://i253.photobucket.com/albums/hh51/PersianMoro/me.jpg