Elliot is 4 months old

Elliot at 4 months old. 

He cracks me up! Seriously the funniest little man!

I am writing this with a breaking back holding Elliot in an ergo strapped to my chest. Little Man is going through a  mega 3-4month growth spurt/leap and he's having a hard time sleeping. He's still in bed with us and wakes 4-5 times a night lately for breast and comfort. Sometimes I go to bed with him and snuggle him close and kiss his soft warm head and feel so blessed and lucky and other times I'm like Get This Kid Outta My Bed!
He got two teeth at 3.5 months and they are the cutest little choppers ever. He is a big boy and every time we go somewhere and people ask his age they can't believe his size. The other day at the pub a mom called all the other moms in the vicinity to come have a look at how big he was. Lol! He was 16lbs at his 2 month check up and my back and arms are telling me he will be registering over 20lbs at his 4 month check in.
He's started rolling on his side and his belly and trying so hard to sit up. Yesterday at music class he was rolling and all the other Moms where oohing and ahhhing at his skills. I smiled smugly of course. ;)
We started swimming classes last week and he is just such a doll in the water. Smiling happily away floating and gurgling. Honestly he is just the happiest little dude. Giving out smiles like they're for free or something. His innocent love just slays my heart. Watching his warm smiles emerge when he looks at his Papa or his sister is truly one of the happiest moments of my life.
We started giving him a mixture of formula and breast milk during the day and he had a hard time at first but has it down pat now, thank goodness. It's such strange relief for me to know anyone can feed him if I'm not there. I know a lot of Mom's like to breast feed till 1year and beyond but for me this works best. I still breastfeed all through the night which is also easiest for us because right now I am a walking zombie and if I had to wake up 4-5 times and make bottles I would probably fall down. This Momma needs her sleep!
Speaking of that, I'm going tomorrow to talk to my nurse partitioner about possible Postpartum Depression. I'm just not sure if I am depressed or just overwhellmed and exhausted. When I have the two babes at home together I'm not such a great lady to be around. I have an idea of how a perfect Mommy should be and I am falling WAAAAAAAY short. That's why I'm going to get help my little Man! Fear not, I'm your Momma and I will fight fiercely to do the best I can!

Love and Hugs