Thursday, August 28, 2014

24 weeks (5.5months) bump update


Here we are at 24 weeks with baby #2! I love this time because the baby is now viable and could live outside the womb with intensive medical assistance. Of course I hope this baby stays in until 40weeks all comfy cozy but it sure does take a load off my mind knowing he's got a great chance either way.

I'm pretty grumpy in this picture. I was trying with all my might to smile. This pregnancy has been tough. I am sicker, more exhausted, more hormonal (bitchy/depressed) and in more pain than my first pregnancy. I developed sciatica about two months ago and I will save you the sob story but there have been emergency visits, narcotic prescriptions, convulsing with pain on the floor, a sea of tears and tons and tons of guilt.
Thank goodness I am finally starting to see the other side. With the help of my tribe of heroes: A rock of a husband, my parents taking leaves of absence from work to help me, heavenly Reiki from Sabrina, Osteopathy and massage therapy, I have stopped crying and started sleeping almost 2 hours at a time. Take that sciatica you jerk!

Now all I'm left with is a hefty guilt hangover. I not supposed to lift over 5 lbs till the baby is born which means we had to put Gemma in daycare full-time. I miss my daughter like nutso. I feel so shitty I can't take care of her myself. I miss our days together. She's mine and I want her back everyday all day.
There was a time there where I was in so much pain I could hardly breathe. I was sure I was cutting off oxygen to my little man in there and mixed with the heavy drugs I was on and all the crying I was sure he was in major distress. My midwife and Doctor and even Sabrina (Reiki) would check his heartbeat and tell me he was just fine. They reassured me he's in a lovely floating bubble of happiness and has no idea how much pain I am in. Phew. Then why do I still feel like shit.

Ok so Sabrina gave me some mirror work with affirmations to say to myself a week and half ago. I haven't started yet. I know she's right, I know it will work but I don't want to do it. She said I could start by writing them down in a journal at first if I need to. Have you guys ever done anything like that?

Great news is, Little Man is moving like a crazy person in there! He's a future olympic gymnast I'm sure of it. I am so in love with him it's sick. We definitely have a bond already and I can feel his happy go lucky spirit at all times. I love when he's awake and moving. I hold him and talk to him and all the pain seems to melt away. He's my Little Man and I can't wait to meet him. It feels like I've never wanted anything more in my whole life!

Love and Hugs

Thursday, July 31, 2014

27,28,29,30/52 portrait project catch up



Week 27: Gemma being an orangutan at Shoppers trying on glasses and climbing towers. Girl seriously cracks me up!


Week 28: Enjoying her vichyssoise aux courgettes at Nathalie's wedding in Corsica. My sweet angel.


Week 29: Gemma LOVED the playground beneath the Eiffel Tower in Paris, especially the carousel!


Week 30: Back home she took her very first ride on a tricycle and I think she's hooked!

Love and Hugs

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

26/52


"A portrait of my child once a week, every week of 2014"

There were a lot of beautiful portraits from this week but I thought the above fuzzy one captures my baby at this moment perfectly. She started expressing herself so much with those lovely eyebrows of hers. It's getting harder and harder to tell her no when she seems to be constantly trying and succeeding at making us laugh. 

Gosh I love her!

Love and Hugs

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

25/52


"A portrait of my child once a week, every week of 2014"

Doesn't she look like Little Miss out and about? We took her to the Cambridge Arts festival over the weekend and released her from the stroller to have a look around. I love her.
I think Gemma is going through another growth spurt. Ah the mysteries of raising your child. She's so much taller and started waking up a full hour earlier than normal and seems to be mad at a lot of stuff. Any advice fellow mommas out there?

Love and Hugs

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

24/52


"A portrait of my child once a week, every week of 2014"

It's hard to put into words how happy this picture makes me. That look on Gemma's face, that gaze, her fingers, everything! Sometimes when I am holding her on my knee, reading a book or watching a movie I think how can she possibly love me as much as I love her. Does she know? Does she love me back? Am I doing ok at this? Sometimes I spend too much time on my phone in her presence. Sometimes I feed her mac and cheese out of the box. Sometimes I look the other way and don't correct her behaviour when I know she needs me to.
I don't know how to explain it. It's like this incredible person turned up on my doorstep and I try to take care of her every day and basically feel desperately desperately in love with her. But I almost don't believe she's mine. We are so different and she is her own person. 

And she likes to pick clover flowers in the back yard. 

Love and Hugs

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

23/52


"A portrait of my child once a week, every week of 2014"

Gemma is patiently waiting for the birthday boy to arrive. Her cousin William turned two over the weekend and we had so much fun at his Dino sized party.

Love and Hugs

Monday, June 2, 2014

22/52


"A portrait of my child once a week, every week of 2014"

Week 22- I love how Gemma holds her opposing hand and fingers when she is concentrating on a task. She usually has her pinky finger up like she's a lady at Tea Time. Melts me everytime.

Love and Hugs