Thursday, July 15, 2010

I am the Captain of my soul.

Good Morning Everybody! I was wondering what words speak to you? Do you ever hear someone say something or read a phrase and then feel it ring out deep inside of you?
We watched Invitus last night. It's a movie about Nelson Mandela's first year as president of South Africa and their World Cup rugby championship win. Mr. Mandela speaks about a poem he used to read to himself while inprisoned that helped him keep standing when he just felt like giving up. It's called Invictus by William Ernest Henley and it goes lke this:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

This speaks to me so intensly. I am not in jail or a prisoner or even have a very hard life. But I do struggle with depression, aniexty and panic on a daily sometimes minute to minute basis. When I am low I can't leave my house or see anyone other than Vince. I don't answer the phone or return emails. I let these demons enter my soul and take up residence with their negative/ terrifying thoughts and words.
When I am strong I AM the Captain of my soul and the master of my fate. I tell the depression and aniexty and panic to leave me the hell alone. I will determine my happiness thank you very much! I will leave the house when I god damn feel like it. You will not tell me what to do today.
This might sound a little freaky and weird to you or it might make complete sense. Either way it's the truth for me and I am excited to hear what is the truth for you. Are you the Captain of your soul?
Love and Hugs

photo from:

No comments:

Post a Comment