Thursday, October 29, 2009

HELP, this professional hotel guest wants more!

Simone writes about what she wants to accomplish through her blog. I too wonder the same thing. It's true that I started writing to keep my family and friends up to date on my life seeing as I always seem to live so far away from them. But I would be lying if I said that's all I wanted it to be. I would love to have a dream story like Clotilde who blogged about her favorite subjects, food and restaurants in Paris and then got a book deal...twice. Or Littlebrownpen who is paid to write on other blogs or even NieNie whose life story and blog have captured the interest of Oprah and is now scheduled to appear on the show. These women writers/bloggers are successful in my eyes and I don't want to be left behind. So what do I really want to accomplish through my blog? What is there out there that I want to write about every day? And do I want what I write about to become my profession?
Simone also wrote about how she finally felt that who she is and the job she does finally match. What a blissful feeling that must be. The only real job I ever had was the one at the airport. It challenged me and made me feel satisfied on certain levels in the sense that I felt good about my problem solving abilities, my calming effects on my co-workers and the math-type thought behind it all made me feel smart (something I hardly ever feel.) But I never felt that that job and who I am was the same person. At all.

So I suppose the best way to start is to make a list of things I like? In no particular order:

1. Food and Wine, preparation, buying it, smelling it and eating it…even photographing it and styling it.
2. Travelling, wandering and getting lost. Going to less developed countries even dangerous countries. Travelling to and seeing historical places such as Egypt, Italy….and now my brother has fuelled a dream of going to Carthage in Tunisia.
3. Love and caring for others. Making people feel special makes me happy. Buying presents that touch their soul. I spend a lot of time in my day thinking about the correct way to talk to the people I care about. I don't want to upset them or have them think I wasn't listening or simply didn't care. (That is kind of weird isn't it?) How do you make a profession or blog out of that idea?
4. Finding love for other people. Matchmaking I suppose? even though I’m not very good at it. But I would be so happy to help people fall in love all day everyday. I find myself thinking on the subway, “oh those two random people would be great together.”
5. Fashion, this too is a subject I think about all day, especially while I am people watching. Does that purse match her boots? Do you think that's women over there is carrying a vintage bag? By the way did you know Simone has a vintage Chanel bag in her collection? So jealous!
6. Mysticism such as astrology, palmistry, faceology, intuition, massage, reiki, aromatherapy……the list goes on.
7. Holding and taking care of babies
8. Making someone who feels left out feel good and important

Well I guess when I was a little girl I told my Mom I wanted to be a professional hotel guest. She won’t let me live that one down!

Now I have to list the things I am afraid of because of course I am or I would have done something already, right?

List of things I’m afraid of:

1. I will fail. No one will like my ideas
2. I can’t afford to pay for the education or start up I need for a business
3. That my future children will see their mother as a woman who just sat around all day and dreamt instead of did.
4. That I will waste money on my dead end ideas
5. That I will make people mad at me
6. The hard work and research it takes to go to school or find a job in a foreign country where I am not a passport holder. (my current status and future…who knows when Vince and I will get married and I will get and EU passport.)

So there you have it. A mess of ideas and feelings and me (no surprise) still sitting here left wondering.
I wish I was one of those people who always wanted to be a doctor or lawyer and then went to school and became that. Why isn’t it that easy?
P.S. photo is borrowed from

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